Hello loves,
Do you miss me ?
I know it's been a while but I hope everyone is doing well, since it's almost month end I hope all my Muslim friends out there will have a smooth fasting till the Hari Raya celebration! Today I decided to pop in just because I have a lot going on in my head I just wished to express it somewhere and thought my story might be useful for those with a similar situation as me. Being in our mid twenties is simply not as easy and carefree as we thought it might be when we're younger. Nah, I used to hope of growing up quick, not knowing its a trap I won't break free from. So might as well enjoy it right?
However recently I realized a lot of things, sometimes things don't go as plan. We fall, stumble and fall again yet we're not supposed to stay down forever we should brace ourselves to be able to stand again and start walking again even when it hurts. Your bruise and scars might still hurt but don't just sit and cry over it, start walking and you'll realize you're far away from where you were with your wounds all dried. This year have taught me a lot actually even though its only mid year but I feel this year I began to slowly let go of my ego and not beat myself too hard when things don't go accordingly.
It's also a year where I learn to be selfish, most of the times I would just be the accommodating party who love to follow the choices given merely to avoid conflict but now I become more aware of what I want and don't. Forcing something that you're not into will be a boomerang for your self and eventually hurt no one but you. I become more vocal about what I am thinking and just forget about all the noises that would possibly come to judge me. I believed that how far I've come is only possible because of God's grace. His endless love has never failed to calm my raging emotions, treat my wounds and just make me feel full and content. From then on I knew things start to change, I still fall and stumble but even on wobbly times I know God has everything planned out and is always there to hold me. I may fall but He's ready to process me into something better!
You may think it's merely words of comfort but I could assure you that there are numerous times I feel exhausted, emotional drained and helpless but its at those hard times I see His great work of miracles. He led me to numerous unexpected occasions I can't believe would have happened without the work of His hands. I saw doors opening and started walking to places I dreamt of going, as well as meeting wonderful beautiful souls.
Thinking back, it has been a long journey but I would say I've accomplished all my dreams and goals. There are still a lot I would like to achieve and do but I am very grateful for where I am today. To be able to wake up everyday and do something that brings joy, even though there are times when things are hard but I would sound so ungrateful if I'm complaining. Since there are tons of people out there praying for a job, some are those you don't have the liberty to do what they like, they who have to work overtime and do something they don't enjoy just to make end meet. Successful? Nah, I am still far from it but one thing I can assure you I am in a happy state. Being content and grateful has always been my two foundation to keep pursuing my passion and focus on my initial aim that is to contribute to the community and my surroundings in a positive way.
Trust me, I am not 100% positive all the times as human there are times where I get swayed but I've always tried to remain focus only on the good because nothing is ever truly good or bad there's always a little of both in everything. Once you have this mindset your subconscious will always redirect you to the good and you'll be able to spread positivity to your surroundings too. Jealousy, Anger, Bitterness, Comparison etc are all seeds to unhappiness. The call is yours to make, do you want to be grateful and positive to face all that life throws at you or the opposite. However my little two cent is being grateful at all times bring so much joy and peace compared to the opposite. Be your own source of happiness and joy that's where the true key of happiness lies, its definitely not in the hands of others or external factors. Your happiness is your call, you always have the choice. Since life is all about choices~
Love, Stevie
