Are we in a competition?

Friday, April 20, 2018

Hey loves, in regards with the upcoming Kartini day tomorrow I want to share with you a little two cents of this issue that have been crossing my mind a lot lately. Are we really in a competition ? In the real world everyone wants to be the best and top everything in life. However life may not seem as easy as it is. Sometimes or most of the times our will might not happen or the worse scenario is, we're often confronted to a whole different situation than we've ever imagined and its far from ideal. Since its about time for Kartini day I hope this post can empower and inspire you to be wise, brave ladies with great love! (well if a guy reads this it might as well be applicable for you too ^_^). 

The first step is always a leap of faith, you never know where it'll actually going to lead you but all you have to know is you're moving forward to embrace the great unknown. Have you ever thought of going in a room full girls. The first thing that would ever pop in your head is a million questions like what will they think of me? , why is she looking at me that way? etc.. Most of the time on unknown situation our mind will trick us into thinking all the extreme negative notion of things. However if you actually start to talk to them the situation might not be as scary as it is. They may be girls who are thinking just exactly the same as you. Before I would be very shy and self reserved just because I fear of hurting anymore. However after I let time heal me, now everywhere I go I'd try my best to engage in conversation or start a conversation with a new person just to get to know them better because you never know which "hello" might lead you to an everlasting friendship. When I say heal not completely forget, its still painful at times when those bad memories pop but I'm no longer a prisoner of those hurting moments. I learnt to make peace with it and not allow myself to crumble any further because I know I wasn't designed to be bitter and hurtful. I always wanted to bring joy to my surroundings nevertheless of the situation, so the only way to do it is to engage with people and learn more about them. 

Therefore when you see a group of girls together instead of seeing them as a competition I personally feel its better to see them as sisters / community. A community is place one grow and flourished, I am a living evidence of how great a community can impact a person. I personally felt the impact of a community and friends that really helped me grow so much and stretched so much in terms of personal growth. Community is a place that nurtures my passion and become a media for me to deliver my voice and let it be hurt. Its also something that helped me overcome my fear and started taking up new challenges because I'm inspired by so many wonderful ladies in my community and I admire the work they do which impact the society. I realized me as an individual wouldn't have been where I am if its not because of my supporting community. Life is never fair and you can't expect it to be. But one thing I learnt is instead of focusing and wasting your time thinking so hardly on why it isn't fair, why not think the other way round and focus on how to make it work. When you focus so much on your personal growth you won't have time to bother about anything else. Thus that means one less gossip, one less trouble and one less meaningless actions. We often waste so much of our time worrying about things that are only in our head thus ruining every thing that is supposed to happen. 

Everyone tend to choose the extreme end to hate instead of choosing to see the other parties as an inspiring and aspiring to be better. As I grow older I don’ have the energy for unnecessary emotional waste of energy, I choose to invest in genuine emations and relationship only. It's sad actually to see frictions among ladies or girls that are supposed to love, care and empower one another, today I want us to realize that we aren't in a competition with anyone. All of us has our flaws, stretch and scars but that doesn't make you less beautiful. As cliche as it may sound but you're beautiful and worth it! Everyone has a story worth telling and everyone has stories that might inspire another. So never ever feel you have to compete with other girls because if you're continuously comparing yourself to others you'll end up hurting no one else but you.  

I personally never thought of life as a competition with anyone, as simple and naive it might sound but I'm being completely frank with you, I don't! Maybe its because I was brought up in a family that only had me as the only child so I don't have to compete with anyone for any attention at home and I had all the love I needed growing up. Thus that made me the person I'm today well I'm grateful for everything and most importantly family because even though everything else crumble you always know that you're family is there for you and you can always find peace at home. 

To be honest I feel sad more than angry when facing an unpleasant situation when someone just isn't in their most appropriate attitude or just try to do their best to intimidate, annoy, mock, bully someone else. As a human we're often self centered and we only focus on us and how we feel about ourselves but actually if you look outside the other person you're sitting with right now or the strangers that pass by you also have feeling and you never know what they're really experiencing. So always choose to be kind. Most of the time I find bullies or people who find joy in hurting others are those who are actually having complexity about themselves. Thus this trigger them to bother other people so they can find joy while making another feel horrible. In times like this I would say choose love over everything. If you're the party that gets hurt then don't bother to down grade yourself just to hurt them back it won't bring you any true accomplishment but all you do is ruining yourself to be just exactly like the last person you ever wanted to be.  

This Kartini day I want to encourage you to be ladies with matured mindset, run ruthlessly for things you want to pursue and don't mind what other people will think of you just take your leap of faith today. Be ladies that are not only beautiful but compassionate because our world today lack that. Everyone is restlessly trying to be better compared to another while forgetting how to actually remain compassionate. Be the light everywhere you go and trust me no darkness can ever completely hide a light. 
Today decide to be woman that empower women ❤ 
Happy Kartini Day to all of us !!! 

Love, Stevie 

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  2. Hiii ciii 💕 instagram aku @shintafionita

  3. This is a great post, so inspiring to me.. I hope any this post like this to much in this blog.. 😍😍😍
    IG : @mettykurniadewi

  4. Hai dear Steviie... senang sekali baca tulisanmu untuk Hari Kartini. Zaman sekarang adalah arena persaingan yang semakin ketat menghimpit. Tak jarang memperbaiki diri untuk menjadi lebih baik dari orang lain. Tetapi lupa bahwa memperbaiki diri seharusnya untuk bisa memberikan yang terbaik bagi orang lain bukannya menjadi lebih baik dari orang lain. Kartini masa kini mampu memberikan kontribusi terbaiknya bagi sekitarnya, bagi bangsa dan negara. Selamat berjuang menjadi dirimu yang lebih baik hari demi hari untuk mampu memberikan kontribusi terbaikmu.

  5. Hai para Kartini, selamat berjuang menjadi lebih baik untuk mampu memberikan yang terbaik. Salam dari ku Vara Manoe dan instagram ku raynee90

  6. Selamat hari kartini, selamat berjuang menjaga kulit yang cantik dan glowing kaya ka steviie. Salam manis dari wanda hamida, my instagram @wandahamida1

  7. Ci stevi, seneng banget baca tulisan ini. Empowering dan inspiring banget :") kukira ci stevi cuma cantik, ternyata open minded dan smart juga. Really lv this post!!
    Instagram account : mutialfa

  8. Hi ci stevie, i have read a lot about your blog, and i really love all the words bcs it brings positive vibes and so inspiring! I totally agree with you ci bahwa everyone wants to be the best and top in everything karena aku pribadi juga seperti itu. Actually hal ini menurut aku ada both positive n negative sides, dimana hal ini jadi memotivasi aku untuk always do my best in everything i do in order to achieve my dreams, but sometimes karena hal ini aku bisa jadi orang yang egois, mudah langsung feel sad kalo apa yang kuinginkan gak tercapai. But i learned something bahwa kita pasti ga selalu berada di atas kadang pasti ada masa kita berada dibawah, tapi bukan berarti hal ini buat aku jadi mudah give up tetapi harus lebih berusaha lagi :) btw my ig acc: fffinna



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